These fresh blooms that we picked up on Mother’s Day have got me in the mood for some spring cleaning. Or maybe “spring sterilizing” would be a better phrase. Once this final semester officially ends, Darrin and I have a hot date planned with our vacuum and the toilet scrubber. Our tiny apartment needs a deep clean. A scrub the floors, Windex the mirrors, actually vacuum underneath the couch type of cleaning. Fresh flowers go best with freshly cleaned homes, am I right? So first, we Windex.
I came back to our messy apartment the other night, after finishing my final Shakespeare seminar of the semester, and found Darrin pouring two glasses of red wine. “You’re done with class!” he said, handing me a glass, and then proceeded to tell me about this old bottle of red wine he found in the other room that should probably be finished (Darrin sure does love an opportunity to express his frugality). So we held our wine glasses the way that we thought classy people hold their wine glasses (pinkys out, right?) and clinked to being done with analyzing Shakespeare, at least for the summer.
Of course, it didn’t take long for us to realize that the Merlot we were sipping was more of a Mer-YUCK. I may not be a wine connoisseur, but red wine should be red…not brown….right? And my mouth shouldn’t taste like chalk afterwards, right?? If I’m wrong, I want nothing to do with you, red wine. Darrin and I both shook our heads after a few sips and said “No sirrrree” to that mysterious (and already open, might I add) bottle of wine, so we poured it (along with our sense of “class” and concerns about correct pinky placement) down the kitchen sink. Better luck next time, I guess.
So if you’re looking for some life lesson or moral to this story, you’ve got a few options to choose from: clean your apartment, stay away from brown wine that turns your tongue to chalk, clean your apartment, try your best to make your pinky finger look as natural as possible while sipping any kind of wine, and finally, clean your apartment.
[…oh look…a pattern…]
Hope your Wednesday is brown wine free! P.S. This shirt is on SALE, my friends. Do it to it.