The “sweet” and “melodious” sounds (those are sarcastic quotations, my friends) of swords clashing and Orcs being punched and/or sliced in half on our television screen is currently the background music serenading me as I write this blog post. Darrin bought himself a new Lord of the Rings video game, and I’ve been hearing a whole lot of growling and grunting for the past few days. Mostly from the game, but sometimes from Darrin growling and grunting in video gamer frustration when a level doesn’t go his way. Apparently destroying large armies of Orcs and saving the world from the evils of Mount Doom is a real academic stress reliever. When the game first arrived in our mailbox, I tried venturing through Mordor and Middle-Earth via the Xbox but OHMYGOSH THE BUTTONS. X,Y,A,B, left control stick, right control stick, left trigger, right trigger, something about bumpers, ETCETERA ETCETERA I MAY JUST THROW THIS THING OUT THE WINDOW. And then there’s these little things called combination moves? As if hitting multiple buttons that you can’t find in a particular and proper sequence is “fun” and “enjoyable”?! Again. Quotations used grammatically incorrect in order to emphasize sarcasm.
Darrin says that I’ll “get the hang” of the game one day. Which implies that I’ll be incompetently exploring and dying in the volcanos of Mordor until that one day arrives. In return, he’s agreed to accompany me to Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream at the Gutherie Theater in a few weeks. The date night has been set, the tickets have been ordered, and I’m praying that my dreams, which have been currently staring a number of horrifying Orcs and monsters, will instead be populated with the likes of Helena and Theseus and Puck. Maybe Darrin will even find himself “getting the hang” of this whole Shakespeare business after the show…I mean, who knows?